Thursday, October 1, 2009

Am I stupid or what?!

Well I am kinda lazy to continue this blog after what have been told to me.but if im feeling ok maybe ill continue writing
Well I dont want to express it here because I already let it all out to my friend Francis who kinda help me get through this but Im gonna say something..
First thing I wanna say Im sorry to francis..

To Francis : Im sorry bro but still call her eventhough u told me to "buat bodo" but I just cant because she keeps coming back to me in my head.If u wanna say im stupid well u can say that but sometimes stupidity gets u closer to the answer.Sorry man!


Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Heartbeat? @ Heartache?

How can I start this?
(deep sigh)
dont feel like sleeping
in fact more to crying
but tears are just shameful drops of water
My heart feels like nothing's right anymore
I guess this is the time when I stop laughing
Is it time for another 5 years without love?
I guess maybe Im being too hopeful
I know how it is gonna turnout
but i keep on trying
keep on breaking my heart
by trying so hard
that all the pieces have turned to dust
There's no other girl that I want to love
only u
I swear
Even if there someone else out there
all I want is u
u are the first and last
no more love for me.
Dont pity me,people.
I'll survive alone.
I was about to ask her to promise me that whatever happens
she will not leave me but
then she was disconnected
I kinda pretend I was laughing
before she went to slumber
It is really painful when she said it
Maybe what my little sister was right
she warn me but i still believe in love crap
Leave me be..
how could I forget her
I am addicted to her voice
I'll never love another as much as u
I love u forever.


Sunday, September 6, 2009

Typically unknown

My feeling are all mixed up,
I dont know why i keep opening ur profile,
wishing that u will be there,
today a non-typical girl told me,
"emir thats normal nothing special she said"
because i asked her how does she feels if a guy called her,
and how she reacts but her answer was different from
my situation.
Then i kinda of tell her a lil bit of my story,
then that when she said it was normal dude
you aint that special.
I dont want to believe it but I have my own curiosity,
that i need to discover on my own.
So I asked myself 'i can survive for 5 years,why not this time?'
Aint no way this time Im giving up
I dont want to be a coward anymore
thats not me.
I now truly believe that this time Im really in love with only one girl.
She really changed me..
JAGA MULUT KAU!-kepada diri sendiri.

Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgement of something important T-T.


Friday, September 4, 2009

Hiding ME

I woke up this morning
and realize it was gonna be another dreadful day.
I think the neutralization thing is true
I kinda feeling it now
eventhough im in love with you.
Its just that I dont want anymore holes to be carved in my heart
There's already many empty holes in my heart
Its hurting me everytime I think of my past
but youre my future and I want to stick with you
because I love you so
and you light up my life with your smile.

Eleena I Love you..[Hahaha]

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Coke day

I'm feeling estatic today
never thought a day would end up like this
I think i messed up a bit
I talk a lot of bullshitt
because I was like so shy that my jaws wont even open
I cant even look at her
But when she stared dude Im telling ya
Im so loving it..
Eventhough im kinda of jealous a little
bcoz she is going to do a "love scene" with someone that i dont know
and I dont want to know

"I wanna I wanna touch u
U wanna touch me too
everyday but all I have is time
our loves the perfect crime

Take everything that i know u'll break
and I give my life away
so far for u
but can u hear me say dont throw me away
there's no way out
I gonna hold u somehow"

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


I want to get rid of this sensitivity
Sad,jealous and anger
took over my soul.
I longed for freedom
No tears no heartbroken no anger
but that will never happen.

Somebody kill me
but I dont wanna die yet
bcoz she is still alive
so i must continue living because
I love her.

Eventhough I feel like Im hurting myself
for loving her
but I'll take the risk
no matter what.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Heartless Saturday

Like a piercing needle
A scream ram through my eardrums
as tears of depression drops down my face
dark cloud fills up the bright morning sunshine
creating a sorrowful surrounding
i never thought i will lay in tears again
i hated this feeling
As i lay alone in the darkness of my room
her smile,her voice appeared in my mind
a smile and laughter seems to calm me down
I miss her.

A sign of forgiveness was shown by the foreign enemy
so apology was accepted
but this day will never be another day like others.